We hear it all the time: “Life is short.”
This past month has been a stark reminder: a friend’s husband passed away, and I learned of an acquaintance (my age) who is going on hospice because her cancer returned. The good friend of one of my very best friends succumbed to cancer (again, she was around my age).
This morning, I learned that my editor at my first reporting job died (he’d have wanted me to use the word “died”; he was a stickler for accuracy. I still follow many of his teachings with my writing today; for example, never write, “over $3,000.” It should be, “more than,” because “over,” means one thing is above another). In addition to being a grammar nerd, he was one of the most genuine, kindhearted people I’ve met.
Another phrase we use all the time is “Enjoy every minute.”
People use that one a lot! Parents of older children love to say it to parents of younger children. And now I see why. Our oldest is in high school now and that means he’ll be out of the house before we know it. The other two are right on his heels. And I want to shout at every frazzled, exhausted-looking mom in the grocery store, cart loaded with toddlers, “Enjoy every minute! I can’t even carry my kids anymore!” but I don’t because they’d think I’m crazy.
Here’s another one: “The days are long, but the years are short.”
Sometimes the drudgery of getting through each week—cooking dinner again, getting kids to school and activities, meeting work deadlines, cooking dinner again, watering the chickens, picking up the mail, cooking dinner again—makes the days pass by slowly. But going through the motions one day you stop and realize that the years have flown by.
It feels like an instant ago that I was trying to figure out breastfeeding, or cuddling my freshly-bathed tiny baby before bed, or giving my daughter her first bath and realizing her straight black hair was actually super curly.
Time really does fly.
And because it does, it’s so easy to forget to appreciate the life we have … a life made all the richer thanks to the people in it. The truth is, though, those people, people we love, could be gone in an instant. There’s just one breath between life and death.
When we think about the shortness of life, we know we should do our best to enjoy every minute. We all know we’re not gonna love every minute. Some stuff is just not enjoyable.
But wouldn’t it be worth it to strive to enjoy as many minutes as we can?
Seems like a good idea, but it’s hard to know how, isn’t it?
Here are a couple of ideas I’ve read about recently:
Be present. In his book “The Power of Now,” author Eckhart Tolle reminds us that all we have is this moment. The whole point of is book is that to be fully present is to have a divine experience and reach spiritual enlightenment (I am majorly simplifying this, I know).
He talks about how time is a human construct and how we’ll become closer to enlightenment if we can focus on each moment as we live it (rather than fretting over the past or worrying about the future).
In real life, that translates to immersing yourself in what you’re doing as you’re doing it. If you’re with your family or friends, BE there. Truly listen. Sink into the experience; your life will be all the richer for it.
All those things you think but don’t say? Say them now. All those nice gestures you imagine doing, but don’t make time for? Do them now. Tomorrow simply isn’t guaranteed. Hug your friends. Tell people you love them. You’ll feel so good saying and doing those kind things … and you’ll never regret not saying or doing them.
Daily rituals (making dinner again) are where the magic happens. Of course, lots of us make memories during “special” events like vacations or celebrations. But infusing those daily routines with a sense of ritual and reverence can enrich your life every day … not just on once-a-year vacations. (I read about this in the book, Love, Peace & Vegetables by Marcela Benson). This comes down to being present again, I think, and allowing yourself to sink in and enjoy those moments with the people you love—in the kitchen, around the table, in the yard, even relaxing on the couch in the evening.
Slow down. Make time for the people and things you love. Life is so busy. But if you can slow down, you can be intentional about how you spend your time. I wrote a blog post about the aha! moment that led to me slowing down, and how it changed my life. When you say “no” to the things that you don’t want to do (and yes, you can say no), you open your life up for more of the things you do want to do, whether it’s a passion like my return to dancing or a date with your spouse or friends.
Have fun! We don’t have to be serious all the time. Bake the pie. Eat the cookies. Go on that adventure. Get in the water, even if it’s cold.
You’ve heard this one, too: “You never know which day is going to be your last.”
It’s true. So sink in. Enjoy as many moments as you can. Live, right now.
