My husband and I grew up in wrestling families. My dad and both of my brothers wrestled, and my husband and his brother did, too. So naturally, when we found out we had a local wrestling club, we encouraged our kids to try it. Our daughter wants nothing to do with it – she’d rather sing and dance. But the boys love it.
It’s one of the hardest things they’ve done so far, but it’s also one of the most rewarding.
And even though, as a parent (especially as a mom!), it’s hard to watch your kid going hand-to-hand with another kid (my heart races throughout every single match!), the sport teaches some invaluable lessons–lessons I know my kids will carry with them into their adult lives.
Just a quick note before I dive in: I believe ALL sports provide invaluable lessons. So my love for wrestling is NOT to the exclusion of the greatness of any other sports. I’ve learned more about wrestling, I feel like everyone should know more about it, too!
You win some and you lose some. Do both with grace.
Before each match starts, the wrestlers shake hands. When the whistle blows, they wrestle. It’s a type of physical combat where both sides are pushed to their limits. In many cases, it’s extreme. Between periods (which last one or two minutes), these kids are out of breath, shaking, sweating. At the end of the match, they shake hands again. I’ve seen so many matches where the wrestlers even hug! Then, each wrestler shakes hands with the opponent’s coach before leaving the mat. Wrestling teaches kids to respect their opponents, and to win and lose with grace. (Note: Yes, some kids have tantrums when they lose. They throw their headgear on the floor, slap their opponent’s hand instead of shaking it, and march away. When this happens, people in the stands just shake their heads. I like to think these kids learn how to handle defeat as they mature.) Winning is so much fun. Losing isn’t! But, every match is an opportunity. Which brings me to …
A growth mindset not only helps a person improve, but it also softens the sting!
In every loss (and in every win, too) there’s a lesson–one we should all keep in mind! We can always improve. Whether we “win” or “lose” (in real life or in a wrestling match), we should always strive to be better. My son loves reviewing videos of his matches to see where he made mistakes and how he can improve the next time, and he’s not the only one. I’ve heard his coaches ask wrestlers if they know what they did wrong in a match, and how to fix it the next time. That’s an awesome attitude! First, we all make mistakes (which is akin to losing sometimes), and the only way to grow, or win, is to learn why and avoid making the same mistake again. Also, humans are wired for growth. We’re happier when we’re striving to reach new goals or improve ourselves in some way.
Resilience is everything. Sometimes you do everything you can, and things still don’t go your way. Just keep going.
Sometimes you practice hard. You go to every workout. You sweat, your muscles cramp, and you keep practicing harder. You do the drills, you practice the moves, you watch wrestling videos at home. And then you show up at a tournament and you wrestle hard. You listen to your coach. You do your very best – leave it all on the mat. And you lose. It hurts. For a moment, it may even feel like a failure. But you show up at the next practice, sweat it out, massage your sore muscles, and practice even harder. Resilience is one of the most important elements of success, because as all of us go through life, we hit obstacles. They could be small obstacles, like a flat tire on the way to work. Or they could be bigger obstacles, like losing a job. But our ability to work through our options and get back to doing life is key in moving forward, towards our goals. That’s what wrestling teaches kids.
Your body can do more than you think it can; your mind is so powerful.
In this way, wrestling is similar to running (I wrote a post about what I learned from running, here). Sometimes your body wants to quit. You can barely lift your feet off the ground, raise your arms from your sides, or even breathe! But when you dig deep, psychologically, when you tell yourself you must keep going, you find out that you can. This is such a parallel to life, isn’t it? There are times when we feel like we simply can’t go on (I’m not talking legitimate depression, but just the exhaustion of the day-to-day grind): we experience setbacks that make reaching our goals seem nearly impossible. But if and when we persevere, we find that our goals are within reach. And before we know it, we’re accomplishing them. Our kids who are wrestling will have the stamina to power through inevitable setbacks because they’ll understand the power of the mind.
It’s not over until it’s over! Don’t quit. There’s always a chance for a pin.
During a match, wrestlers earn points for completing certain moves. But a pin gives a wrestler an immediate win. So even if you’re losing by points in the third round, winning is still possible. Which means: don’t give up until that final whistle blows.
It’s all about the wrestling. Also, GIRL POWER!
When you’re on the mat, nothing matters except the wrestling. It doesn’t matter what brand your shoes are, or what your singlet looks like, or what color your hair or skin is, or what gender you are. There’s a growing number of girls wrestling these days, and they are badass. It takes a little extra courage to be a girl in this male-dominated sport, and these girls go out there and get it done. Many of the parents in the crowd root for the girls because it’s so great to see them wrestling so tough! I wouldn’t have been brave enough to wrestle boys when I was a pre-teen or teen! So much respect!
It all comes down to you.
In a match, a wrestler has to rely on herself. Yes, she has a coach in her corner, and her teammates and family members are cheering for her, but it’s up to her to put all her hours of practice to use. If she makes a mistake, that’s on her. If she wrestles a flawless match, that’s on her, too! Taking responsibility for our actions and choices is another essential element of life satisfaction.
At the same time …
Community is invaluable.
Success in wrestling parallels success in life, and when we all improve, society improves, too. Coaches are so passionate about helping wrestlers succeed. I’ve seen my son’s coaches give tips to wrestlers from other teams, and vice versa. The support wrestlers give and receive from each other is also invaluable. Hearing from a peer that he’s had similar experiences (a day full of losses, for example) and that he lived to tell about it is heartening. Just like humans are wired for growth, they’re wired for community. And because wrestling is so unique, people who love the sport share a strong bond.
This is a sport that sets kids up for life.
In thinking of all of these lessons, it’s clear that wrestling builds grit. Lots of studies have shown that people who have grit are happier more successful long-term than people who don’t. What is grit? It’s strength of character. It’s being brave, setting goals, working towards those goals, and persevering through setbacks.
Watching my kids wrestle, seeing them grow as they experience pushing past their limits, winning matches and losing matches, supporting their teammates and being supported by their coaches, I have fallen in love with this sport.
