My grandma would have been 100 last week. I think about her often, but even more around her birthday.
She was pretty much my favorite person, and now, as I reflect on how she lived her life, I realize it’s because she was many of the things I aspire to be: brave, adventurous, fun, and loving.
As we enter a new year, and a new decade (!!!), I wanted to highlight some of the lessons she taught me. These are lessons all of us can use to make 2020 (and the 2020s) amazing!
Keep learning new things.
I started taking dance classes when I was four. Shortly thereafter, my grandma did, too. She took ballroom and tap—and we even did several duets together. Later, she took a variety of classes, including ceramics, doll making, and Tai Chi.
Learning keeps our brains flexible, and it keeps us busy. Plus, it gives us a broader view of the world while enabling us to create new connections.
Here we are, doing a tap duet!
Make your own way.
When my grandma attended college—in the late 1930s and early 1940s—only about three percent of women earned college degrees. She attended Syracuse University and Stanford University and then went to work as a physical therapist. She eventually married my grandfather, and they divorced when my mom was four years old. As a single mom during a time when remaining unmarried was unusual, my grandma provided a great life for her daughter.
I think she was ahead of her time—her gifts and messages often included language that’s popular in today’s personal development movement:
“Imagine yourself as you would like to be, doing what you want to do, and each day take one step towards your dream. And though at times it may seem too difficult to continue, hold on to your dream. One morning you will awake to find that you are the person you dreamed of – doing what you wanted to do – simply because you had the courage to believe in your potential and to hold on to your dream.” (This comes from a little poster she gave me.)
And inside the card she gave me for my college graduation, she wrote, “Keep on dreaming and soon success will start – honestly. Love, Grandma.”
She sent me so many letters, too, when I went off to college, and almost every one encouraged me to keep working hard—to make my own way.
I love that my grandma (and my parents, too) cultivated this mindset. They taught me that success takes time, and that if you set your sights and keep working, it IS possible.
Now, as I build my author career, I hit inevitable roadblocks and obstacles, but they seem surmountable. Even when I get discouraged, I’m able to look for things I can try next to sell more books. Opportunity is always waiting for those willing to look for it.
Make the small moments special.
My grandma and I had lots of sleepovers, and when we did, we always had tea parties on the kitchen floor. She’d make peppermint tea with milk and we’d sip that while eating jelly beans. To this day, whenever I drink peppermint tea, I think of her. When I was in fourth grade, she’d pick me up from school each week and take me to my gymnastics lessons, and in between, we’d go to the mall and have a cinnamon roll.
The little things really are the big things—these memories mean so much to me. I want to create these memories with my family, too.
Be adventurous.
When my grandma was in college, it was taboo for girls and boys to spend time together. She would sneak off campus in her friends’ cars and go play at the swimming hole. As a single mom in the 1950s and 1960s, she’d take my mom on vacations, including a river rafting trip down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. And when she was a grandma, she traveled with my dad’s mom to Ireland and China.
I’ve learned that adventuring is so important. At first, I did it for fun, but I want to continue to seek adventure because it takes us out of the humdrum of daily life and gives our spirits a boost, among other things.
Be a good friend.
When they were older, both my grandma (my mom’s mom) and my paternal grandpa, lived alone. After some discussion, they decided to move in together. My grandpa moved into the downstairs section of my grandma’s townhouse so it was like they had two separate apartments. They did lots of things together. I remember in one letter she wrote me, she described how she and my grandpa had driven together to watch my brother’s baseball game. It was raining, so they parked in the lot above the field and watched the game from the car. I think that even though the situation was a little unconventional, they formed a strong friendship.
Friendship truly is one of the most enriching aspects of life.
My grandma was truly one-of-a-kind, a brave soul with an adventurous spirit. I can only hope to emulate her this year and every year!
Here’s to a 2020 you LOVE.
And here’s to my grandma – Happy Heavenly Birthday!
